i know it's gonna happen.

i know it's gonna happen.

Making reference to a Morrisey song in wich he sings about how sometimes you get to say ...hold on, the same that is making me happy (or miserable, it applies too) today will happen to you some day, just wait.

Something happened to me yesterday.I been told several times...wait! Somebody is gonna love you the way you love me know, that just pisses me off, because it's a fancy way to say i don't love you...fuck off.
Yesterday as i was kissing her (Ok i promisse to tell you who is HER), she told me "i love you" in the "i want you" sense of the word, and i remembered how many times i'd been in that situation before, when i tell it and no feedback comes from the other person, i suddenly understood the overwhelming charge that it puts on a person. But at least i'm happy she was being honest, because for all the times i said it i was honest too.
But what can you say there? I was not gonna say "i love you too" back, because i'm still in that place that i don't feel it, and also i was not gonna say "Thanks" because that's so lame and makes the other person feels simply and plain pathetic.

So returning to the Morrisseys' song. It surprised me in a good way that now it's happening to me. Everything i asked for, just an honest "i love you", but this time it freaked me out. It's like that terrifying feeling you have when you are screaming to the world "hey turn around!", "look at me!", and once the world turns to you and says "What?" you just paralize because you don't know what to do.

On the other hand, she has a lot invested in me. Have you ever realized of that? I always do. By looking into somebody's eyes you can see how many hopes, fears, dreams, thoughts, nightmares, insecurities, etc. they have build upon you.
And i can see she has a lot invested in me as i said, and obviously i don't want to dissapoint her (in a certain level), but i'm feeling either way if it happens, maybe its because the reponsability that it brings that makes me feel funny about it. I don't know i think it's still growing.

If this would have happened few months ago, probabbly i would have been crazy about her. But now the feeling just washed out, in spite i have what i wanted.

Hey people!!! just chill, nothing is gonna happen, i'm just making sense of my thoughts and well... be honest with my blog and with the people that reads it.

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